Catholic jokes

Young Couple On Their Way To Be Married Find Themselves At The Pearly Gates. What Happens Next Is Hilarious

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves standing outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.

They asked St. Peter can we still get married in heaven? St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out!

Two months passed and St Peter still has not returned. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven.

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking exhausted!

'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'

'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out?

Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?' St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.

'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.

'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer ?

This Husband And Wife Were Really Worried About Their Kid In School So They Did This

Little Johnny was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything: tutors, they tried everything they could think of. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Johnny down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school.

After the first day, little Johnny came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Johnny was hard at work.

His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he was done he marched back to his room without a word and in no time he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference.

Finally, little Johnny brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table and went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his Mom looked at it and to her surprise.... little Johnny got an A in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said: "Son, whaaaat was it????

Was it the nuns??" Little Johnny looked at her and shook his head, "no." "Well, then", she replied, "was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms???? WHHHHAAAATTTT was it????" Little Johnny looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."