A soldier ran up to a nun, Out of breath he asked: "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."
The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police officer ran up and asked: "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"
The nun replied: "He went that way."
After the Military Police officers ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said: "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to war to Iraq."
The nun said: "I understand completely."
The soldier added: "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun replied: "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls... I don't want to go to Iraq either!
(I work at a clothing department store. We don't offer a discount to our military, but we do have deals going on all the time. I overhear a customer speaking as if he has a military background. He eventually comes up to the counter.)
Me: "Hi, I couldn't help but overhear, but what branch are you?"
Military Customer: "I am in the Marine Corps. I did a tour in Iraq for a while."
Me: "In that case, I can see that you forgot your coupon! That's not a problem; we'll take 30% off for you!"
(The next customer behind him starts yelling.)
Next Customer: "I deserve my 30% off!"
(The next customer begins to yell.)
Next Customer: "You gave that discount to him! Why can't I get the discount?"
(The military customer calmly walks over, and takes off his prosthetic left arm. The next customer's eyes get really large.)
Military Customer: "Don't worry, the 30% discount only costs an arm and a leg; give or take a bit."
(The next customer flees without buying anything. Thank you to all of our military, and especially the ones with great humor!)